To My Baba Dave,

I always believed that fate brought us together. For how could two people halfway across the world find each other and fall in love? It would have been 8 years on August 28. But, God had other plans for you were never mine to keep. You have always been God’s.

And as you heed His call and when you do meet our Creator, please tell God that I am not angry at Him. As a human being I am hurt but I also take comfort in the fact that He took away your suffering. You were not well the past few months, my love. You were in pain. Your body was failing you and I know deep down you were confused and worried about me. ME. Everything you have done and tried to achieve has always been for me.

I didn’t even know you kept a diary of me. I discovered it yesterday when I was browsing through your phone and came across a folder entitled “Marian’s Moments”. My favorite entry read—I started to boil eggs and I heard a peep peep noise from the pan. I hurriedly turned down the volume to the TV as I rushed her over to hear the chicks! I had her lean down and listen to the baby chickens. She walked solemnly back to her stool in the kitchen. She knew I was playing a trick but her conscience wouldn’t let her forgive and she looked so sad. I immediately ran over to hug my saddened princess.

Princess was not only a name you called me but a feeling you made sure I felt each day. Thank you for the little and big things you did for me. From making sure I have something to eat after 12 hours of work, to reminding me to be in bed on time so I could get a full night’s rest before I took care of sick people. Thank you for being there when I lost a patient for the first time. It was 2 days after you proposed in what was supposedly a joyful week, you instead allowed me to cry.

Thank you for taking me to see the Backstreet Boys. It was such agony for you to be the only guy in a row full of 20-something ladies. But you told me you wanted to be there and witness me have one childhood dream come true.

Thank you for pushing me to drive on the highway, probably one of my biggest fears. A week before your passing, you almost forced me to do our practice runs after 6 years of procrastination. Now I know it was because you wanted me to be able to go places on my own.

More importantly, thank you for bringing me to Upper Sandusky. For introducing me to your wonderful family most especially your parents who are like my own. You made sure I am in good hands.

And lastly, thank you for bringing my siblings here with me today. It may be for a sad occasion but sometimes it takes such occasions to make us realize what is really important in life.

It truly feels like the last 8 years you have prepared me to be the strongest version of myself. You have taught me to conquer my fears, to focus on the good and not to dwell on things I can’t control.

I know it will be a hard recovery ahead but I can only promise to try my very best to go on no matter how long it takes. True to your last text message to me on the day of your passing, “You have plenty of time.” And I will take just that. Time.

Please know that from the very first day we met until the day you joined our Creator, you are and will always be my first and only love. In this lifetime and the next, forever and a day.

Rest in peace, Baba. See you on the road soon.

Love always,

Your Princess Yan

P.S.

Thank you for our 2 cats that you each gave to me on August 28, 3 years apart

Top & Skirt: Apartment8 Clothing

Shoes: Valentino

Bag: Fabfind from Burlington

Earrings: SEPA

Bracelet: Coach (a birthday gift from good friends)

There comes a point in your life that you hit a bump. So hard it knocks the wind out of you and leaves you hazed and confused, just like the ice cream flavor, except there is nothing sweet about it.

I hit that bump on that fateful Friday at work when I thought it was just another day in the office. Since then I started second guessing myself and not even the joys of writing and playing dress-up gave me comfort. So I apologize for the lack of blog posts, it wasn’t because I ran out of clothes (though a part of me wish it was the reason).

So how did I come around? It’s during these times that I remember to do my mom’s best advice—to dust ourselves off and rise because there is nothing that a good SPRING CLEANING cannot cure. So after months of internal de-cluttering, here I am, clad in a two-piece set from Apartment8 Clothing in different hues of spring that totally describes the falling, rising and blooming that I have been through the past few months, because isn’t that what spring is all about?

And I rose up alright. Next week will mark my next big step in my nursing career as I am going back to working in the ICU after so many years, so I apologize in advance if I get tied up in training and won’t be able to update as much.

But I leave you to this thought beauties: if you find yourself in a ditch, just dust yourself off and stand up pretty because (and I quote the emperor in the movie Mulan) the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest one of all. *wink*

XoXo

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Jacket: Forever21

White Top: H&M

Leather shorts: Forever21

Shoes: Aldo

Watch: Baby G

In honor of the recent Superbowl and all the left-over nachos and wings I had to consume in its wake, I bring to you my latest ensemble that I’ve always envisioned myself wearing at a football game, that is, if it was held in the sunshine state in all of its 75-degree glory at the peak of winter. 😉

Probably not your ordinary sporty wear, but then again I was never really what you call “sporty”. So with this look, I gave it a touch of rockstar chic and played around with lots of black and faux leather to probably mask my lack of sporting skills?LoL Like I tell myself, if you can’t play the part, just try and look the part, ey? 😉

I say the jacket makes the whole outfit. It made me feel like I belonged to a team. And maybe if I had enough of “playing the part”, I can just take the jacket off and walk towards…the mall…where my real playing field is. 😀

XoXo

All trademarks or REGISTERED trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Their use does not constitute an affiliation of this website with the trademark owners.

Top: fabfind from inside my closet 😉

Skirt: Apartment8 Clothing

Shoes: Valentino

Bag: Chanel

Necklace: gift from my bff Rizza Michelle from the UK

Bracelet: Aldo

I never realized how beautiful it is to take pictures when the sun is setting. It makes everything turn a different shade of yellow and gives a colorful glow to your surroundings, making it look like it is indeed autumn. At least this is my excuse. Truth is, I really just woke up well into the afternoon and forgot that I had a life outside of sleep (#nighshiftwoes). But many thanks again to Mai Velasquez of bastaigatsikat.com for the make-up techniques that I copied under pressure.;)

I don’t regret it though, waking up late that day I mean, because apart from the majestic sunset that I caught, I finally got to wear one of Apartment8 Clothing’s many beautiful creations in the form of this Blanca skirt that I paired with a plain white sleeveless top I so happen to find in the deep recesses of my closet–makes for a perfect day to night outfit!:)

Probably my biggest accessories were my Rockstud flats from Valentino and my Jumbo flap bag from Chanel that not only gave the look some pop of color but made everything look classic and elegant.:)

What a beautiful way to celebrate the Sunshine State by walking around under its last ray of sunlight amid the throng of what can only be snowbirds enjoying the same privilege, while the rest of the great states are busting their coats and boots, I am clad in a midi skirt and thin white top. So thank you Florida…we will indeed watch the snowfall…from our television!!:p

XoXo

All trademarks or REGISTERED trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Their use does not constitute an affiliation of this website with the trademark owners.